Kink Shaming and Consent

It is always a tad disheartening when you see fighting and griping within the fetish lifestyle and industry – the fighting in regards to kink shaming. It happens because someone finds offense with the topic that turns someone else one.

We aren’t exactly seen around the world as the beacons of morality – should we really be fighting and trying to destroy each other from within our own industry?

The vanilla world stands united with their very loud voices of hate and disgust towards sex workers and fetish lifestyle lovers. At one time this really was a Live and Let Live, type of community – but with the current political climate – it seems the poo flinging is only getting worse…WITHIN our ranks.

I’ve spoken out on this topic before, but it seems to be creeping up into my time line again. There is a HUGE difference between being a hateful bigot (racist, homophobic, any kind of -ism or -phobic you can think off) and just engaging in kink and fetish. I am a sex worker, I wouldn’t be able to thrive in this world without having a strong backbone. I speak out for fetishists in the same way that I will speak out for anyone that is the target of hate.

What is kink shaming?

Anytime you decide to pass judgement on consenting adults for engaging in a kink that gets their jollies off…you are kink shaming.


Of course, enter in social media, and suddenly it becomes everyone’s business and subsequently everyone’s ‘right to judge’.

Truth be told, there ARE some fetishes that I too wrinkle my nose up at. But, I choose to walk away and play with those that I do enjoy – rather than insert my own feels into it. At the end of the day that is all you are doing, inserting your own feels. Your feels and my feels are best used against the actual bigots of the world that seems to make them feel accepted (the vanilla world 😉 )

Need some examples of kink shaming? I’ll pull from my own personal experiences:

I engage in a lot of abdl training and fetish play – I have had comments made about me paving the path for child rapists and pedophiles. I don’t…ABDL HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH PEDOPHILIA. I really just want to carve “NO IT FUCKING ISN’T” into a bat and swing it at someone every time they make those comments. That is a little dramatic, but I hear it quite a bit.

Many of my sissyslut players or my homoerotic fantasy players want to hear certain trigger words that put them up over that edge. In the vanilla world, those words would be unacceptable, and I would never use them.

I’ll engage in a humiliation exposure and financial domination game that involves twitter or some other public post – and I’ll get a message of how unethical it is – even when the accuser has ZERO idea of what the scene boundaries entail.

I’ll throw up a message regarding broke fuck bois and get messages about how I shouldn’t kick people who are already down. I’ve seen many of the top industry girls receive some hate thrown their way for comments like that. (Those comments are…well I have my theories of why they say it but, not the time nor place. LOL)

I’ll create a homewrecker clip or audio and see responses saying that “any domme that breaks up a home isn’t a real domme” – You have NO IDEA what the homewrecker fantasy/fetish is … if you think that is ALL it is and I despise comments that include “you are not a real domme if…” – “only real dommes….”

No…Real dommes do whatever they fuck they want dear. It’s in the definition. Please look it up in your closest fetish dictionary.

Are you a fetish play sex worker that ‘forces’ a sissy to suck a strap on? Some loved that ‘forced’ experience but we know there Is still consent and an understanding at the beginning. Why not scream that is rape? Does it not play into certain political agendas or personal feels?

Why is it ok for fetish players and not ok for everyone else? What makes it different?

Because they specifically ask for it. Not in the way misogynistic assholes will say a girl wearing a mini skirt in an ally way was asking for it…they used their words – they asked for it. They want it. They are just heavily charged words used in a moment of ecstasy. Because for most, especially in the world of phone sex and custom clips … anything goes…you just have to ask for it first.

I can easily look to a group of my girls and say ‘love you bitches’ or ‘whores for life’ but if someone outside the group says it with ill intent or perceived ill intent — they would be verbally destroyed.

SOME plays cross boundaries – SOME workers will give a bad name to the industry (that already has a bad name anyway) – but those are SOME. The established ones work within the boundaries of CONSENT.

If you are hot and heavy in the bedroom, and you are screaming to your lover to choke you, smack you on the ass or call you a bitch/slut … its just play. If you did that shit with someone you didn’t know – all hell will break loose. The difference is CONSENT.

Everything points back to consent.

The difference between BDSM and Abuse? Consent

Difference between naughty words and harassment? Consent

Difference between a homophobic racist and sissy that wants to suck on a well endowed BBC? Consent

Everything points back to consent.

I do need to insert the fact that some clips and fetishes really do cater to hate and those are more extreme. You will have that anywhere you go, with anything you do. The occasional BBC Worshiping sissy, isn’t a hate monger. The sex worker or clip artist that puts that out there, isn’t a hate monger either.

It’s always hard to add that point in, because then you have to ask – where do you draw the line?

Draw it where ever you want. Just turn and walk away – don’t engage…and don’t bait. Understand that there will be kinks you don’t like or personally approve of…but keep political agenda’s and personal feels out of it.

But what about the actual racists that play? What about those into underage stuff? – what did I say about consent? Underage can’t consent—what did I say about consent? You’ll never be able to stop actual racists from looking to play, and they will have someone out there that will indulge their racist fantasies.

Some will say “you are just as bad as they are” – those are words we expect from non-sex workers and those that hate anything to do with kink and fetish. Those aren’t words we expect to hear from our fellow sex workers.

I would also turn the tables and ask why you don’t go after the male artists that post clips with slave girls, bound and gagged and whipped – called every name in the book. *Again, no hate, no shade…just a basis for comparison* – Why do we as female sex workers ultimately attack other female sex workers?

Would I use those words day to day? Absolutely not. Truth is, there are a few that I won’t say in session either, regardless of what they are begging for.

Why not take in the whole picture? Is hate something someone spews on a regular basis? Or does it look like a genre/niche specific posting.

Who is buying it? Someone is…MANY are – because it’s what they are into for one reason or another.

Side note: Some fetishists are the way they are because of very negative experiences that they had when they were younger and their brain turned it around and fetishized it to better deal. If that is something that helps them deal – why kink shame?

I don’t care if a person wants to eat shit, I care if people treat each other like shit.

Let’s not kink shame our fellow sex workers and further alienate some clientele that just need a release with a little seemingly taboo play. Taboo is where the fun is for them. Taboo is where the release is. Taboo will be defined differently for everyone. You don’t have to like it, you don’t have to engage in it. Things that make my stomach turn – I don’t engage in and will turn clients away. One of the beauties of the industry.

Don’t engage in hate, don’t spread hate and bigotry .

We can’t expect the world to take us seriously, if we continue to teach each other down internally.

Live and Let Live. I believe Kink could cure most of the worlds problems with a good orgasmic release (or some intentionally sexual frustration) – we are all in this together.

Don’t kink shame – this is an area you can indulge in your kink with the confines of safe, secure consent. We are all equal – all is fair in love and kink…with consent.

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ABC’s of Kink and Fetishes

The ABC’s of Kink and Fetish

Every person has some kink or fetish. Whether or not they admit it is something entirely different. You’ll never convince me otherwise. I’ve been in the world of Kink and Fetish long enough to know that even the most square person you know maybe wonder outside that square box from time to time.

In the age of the internet, it isn’t hard to connect to others with like minds. What MAY vary is how some come about their kinks and fetishes. It can stem from simple curiosities and range to deeply seeded and embedded memories from an earlier time in their lives.

A- Arousing Curiosity about the Abnormal

Do you find yourself aroused by things that may be deemed abnormal? I’d first want to discuss what is abnormal to you. I can’t even begin to define normal for myself, so I wouldn’t be able to tell YOU what is abnormal and what isn’t.

When I discuss some of my own kinks and fetishes I can tell some of them may be a little different than others. Their piqued curiosity is almost a red light that what I said isn’t something they’ve heard of in the past.

When In a session, I actually despise the questions of ‘what is the most bizarre thing you’ve done/’heard’ because it is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe dressing in drag is taboo for you, then again administering a champaign enema may be something you engage in regularly. There is no such thing as normal in the world of kink and fetish…so if there is no line to just normal, then there is no real line of abnormal. (Perhaps my client that enjoys the idea of being sucked up into a vacuum cartoon style is wavering on that line – but, to me, it’s still exciting/different/fun)

Does the abnormal make that cock twitch?

B- Are you Bold Enough to Explore?

Yes, you are. Because here you are. You’ve been looking for a while. Bold starts with typing into a search engine what you are trying to explore and you may not even know there is a name for your kink – which, trust me, there is always a name. LOL It is out there.

You may find yourself typing in “ why am I turned on by the thought of my wife having sex with someone else” – The term you are looking for is cuckold. Cuckold is the fantasy/fetish of having your wife/SO be with someone else. There is quite the history of Cuckolding but that would be for another post.

I will warn you that it is a bit of a rabbit hole. Once you start on the path you’ll find others with twisted ideas and other kinks/fetishes that you may not have encountered. But, as you grab that cock and start stroking – you’ll find it may turn you on to. At that point, you are becoming more of a fetishist. Someone that likes to explore different kinks, fantasies, and lifestyles. It is a fun and crazy world down here.

C- Are you Curious about others being into what you are, are you the only one?

You aren’t the only one. You could be into dressing in a pink sissy maid outfit with a rainbow horse tail butt plug and walking around in horse hoofed shoes with a bit in your mouth – there is someone out there that would love to dress just like that.

As much information as there is on the internet, you would think it would be easier finding those of like minds. But, it isn’t…not always anyway. The Internet is mostly a safe place to explore your kink and fetish in the privacy of your own home (Insert rant on internet safety and personal responsibility). Going out and meeting up with people face to face is a much bigger step than a large chunk of the community is willing to do. I speak this from experience with my clients that would never step outside their door and have a conversation with someone in the vanilla world about their kink world. For them, it’s too risky. It can make you feel isolated, but you still aren’t alone.

Why not explore your wild side a bit? What happens between consenting adults is none of anyone else’s concern.

So embrace you, the sexually adventurous are free. You can let out frustration and live a happier life indulging in your kinks and fetishes every once in a while.

What is your Kink? What is your Fetish? What is your Story?

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Don’t Get Scammed: Do your Homework

Found yourself the unlucky recipient of a session that you’ve paid for – that was never received? You aren’t alone.

I have heard ‘I was scammed before’ time and time again, some are legitimate concerns others are trying to garner sympathy to get something for free from me (spoiler: it doesn’t work).

It can happen to the best of us. When I first started camming (I had the experience as a pro and virtual domme…but hadn’t offered webcam services) – I too got caught up in a few ‘let me see you for 5 seconds’ that lead to nothing. I chalk it up to experience, have adjusted and moved on.

While YOU getting scammed from someone else isn’t my problem, nor will I make up for them – there are things you can do with minimal work, that would protect yourself.

It really is a shame that there are so many scammers out there subs and Dommes alike. But, there are always sure fire ways to protect yourself. It just means you have to do your homework a little bit. Google can absolutely be your friend in this.

In a sentence: DO YOUR HOMEWORK

Let it be noted, none of this is about getting freebies. An experienced Domme will never give you free time on cam with a ‘promise from you’ that you’ll pay afterward or sign up for a session afterward. It is common knowledge, that THAT is how subs scam and try and get away with things. Even 2 seconds is too much, I won’t do it and others won’t either.

Specifically for Online/Distance Domination Sessions

Obviously, it isn’t fool proof, because every day there are phenomenal Dommes that are coming into the scene and are either brand new all around, or just brand new to the world of distance domination. A new profile doesn’t necessarily mean ‘scammer’

Just because she doesn’t want to get on cam, or doesn’t show face photos, or any photos for that matter – also doesn’t mean you are getting scammed.

Being scammed means you paid for a service and didn’t receive it.

Paying for a skype ID and she does text only or you are the only one hopping on cam, that doesn’t mean she is a scammer. There are MANY pro-dommes and phone Dommes that don’t and won’t get on cam. Unless you specifically paid for a cam session, buying a skype ID with no cam to cam doesn’t mean it’s a scam. You have to read her rules and if you have a question – ask. Don’t play dumb later on and get upset because you didn’t read the rules or clarify something with her first.

If you see a brand new profile and it simply has a few lines of text, and an itty bitty – barely legible photo, there may be some red flags there. Can you look up more info on her? Why not try calling and doing an intro call with her first?

I can’t say DON’T pay for the session up front, and I won’t. Because I charge up front. No money = no session. That is how I protect MYSELF from scammers. The freebie scraps that I throw out there can be found by you, and since they are out there – I won’t give them.  I am a cam/phone/text and pro-domme – I even have clips, so the way I see it – if you need proof, then you can spend 1-5 for the teaser clips I put out there. If you are stressing about spending 1-5 then you probably shouldn’t be seeking a pro-mistress. It is a small amount – if you can’t be bothered to part with it because of your fear of being ‘scammed’ then you simply aren’t the type of submissive I’d be looking for anyway. 😉

There are services out there that charge you per-minute while connected through their system. That is a way to minimize if there is a scammer. If the cam isn’t on within a couple minutes, disconnect. A few dollars and minutes is enough to figure it out.

You can check around, you can use google, you can call and do an interview session to get a feel for someone. Doing your homework keeps you from getting scammed.

If you paid for services not received – THAT is the scam. Period.

You not getting your way because you didn’t look up the fine print – NOT a scam…that is your bad judgment.

If you DON’T want to be scammed – or are apprehensive start with that initial interview call. Don’t think that because a mistress won’t give you ANY free attention means she is a scam. I charge for my time, which means I’m not open to giving it away for free. My contracts have set up fees, I have multiple services I offer for submissives, sissies and fetishists alike – and I am a premium domme – I have options. Some of the lesser amount if you are really gung-ho about ‘getting a feel for me’ – many dommes do. You just have to look it up.

Do Your Homework

That is my advice to keep yourself from getting scammed. One size doesn’t fit all. One domme not giving into your demands – well you have to question YOUR submissiveness if YOU are making ANY kind of demand. Doesn’t make it a scam.

If you have paid for services you have not received – that is a scam, and I do hope in the future you do your homework so that it doesn’t happen again.

If a Domme has provided services and was never paid – that is a scam, and I hope they chose to charge up front the next time — but many have experienced this at least once in their rise to the top. So as a submissive, understand when she does NOTHING without payment first. The homework is up to the submissive.

Experienced submissives know this and it’s ok to be inexperienced, we all had to start at the beginning somewhere. Just be smarter about it.

We like submissive men, not dumb ones and certainly not cheap ones.  

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Head Mistress and Variety

Every mistress out there appreciates a truly devoted pet. One that bends to her every will, one that complies with her every demand, one that knows her expectations and strives to exceed them. The pet doesn’t waste time, isn’t an energy suck – is just overall a well-trained sub.

BUT, THOSE subs are few and far between. I could throw a dart and hit someone that CLAIMS they are as devoted as they SAY but I am not one for empty promises. I am a mistress of action and tangible proof of your devotion. Don’t say it…DO it. That is, perhaps, another post later on.

Today I’m going over certain expectations I have for those that serve me.

While I love ones that are head-over-heals monogamous pets…I am not a monogamous mistress. You will not be my only pet. You could very well become a top pet but that position is something that is something that you have to constantly work at. I have found that the majority of submissive pets that are well-trained and are of the level of sub I want – they kind of need variety.

I am ok with your desire to have a variety of Mistresses.

I know there are Mistresses that will say that this is a hard-limit and you have no business serving others. That is fine. Live and let live.

I will say that if you are OWNED that I will not accept you as a pet. If you are OWNED you have no business seeking out another mistress to play with, UNLESS you have actual permission from your mistress. I don’t believe in stepping on the toes or disrespecting another mistress.

I don’t play the games of ‘well so and so, does this’ or ‘this mistress said that’ –if you are a pot stirrer that gets off on the drama some women tend to get off on I can point you in the proper direction but it won’t be towards me.

I expect honesty from my pets and submissives. Be honest about the fact that you like to shake things up.

With that said…I DO expect to be your HEADMISTRESS. If you want to be devoted to me, if you want to be in my good graces and not seen as a one and done type submissive, if you want to build on a D/s relationship – I expect to be your Head Mistress.

What is a Headmistress?

It shouldn’t be that hard to decipher. She is the one you ultimately serve. Sure you can go out for your variety when there are times that schedules don’t line up, or you just want to have a little swirl for the evening…but the rules set for you by your headmistress you ultimately follow.

For instance…with your headmistress if you are on a strict chastity. Don’t go to another mistress to have it removed, the only one that can remove it is your headmistress. The other mistress could encourage chastity or perhaps tease and torment you and humiliate you while you are in it.

Your Head Mistress has the final say over everything.

Respect is everything when it comes to properly serving a Domme. I respect your need for variety, just as I expect YOU to respect me as your headmistress.

Some may agree, some may disagree – I don’t care. You follow the rules of the one you deem as your headmistress. I don’t fight with other dommes and never will. There will never be a sub worth the energy of a fight. LOL However, I love the ability to partner up with them and turn you into a tennis ball that we hit back and forth and fuck your world up deeper.

Double-domme sessions are something I adore with a select group, and am always open to the idea of adding in more.

You take care of your Head Mistress and she is sure to make sure you are well taken care of too. Just food for thought.

Do you have a head mistress? Are you a single mistress sub or owned? What rules do you have to abide by?

Until next time my pets.

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The Illusion of the 24/7 Slave

You have scoured the internet for the perfect Mistress or Mommy Mistress. One that fits everything you could ever picture. The diamond in the rough, the union if you will. You found her. You find out how to contact her. You send an email — Your first ever conversation with her.

“Are you looking for a 24/7 live in slave”

How do you really expect someone to respond to that? If it were the vanilla dating girl and you found pictures and a profile of the girl of your dreams and sent a message

“let’s get married tomorrow and I want to move in”

It is not going to be met with a warm response IF you get a response at all. Instead, the email is marked spam, you may be blocked and you are dubbed ‘creepy as fuck’

You simply can’t contact someone on the first conversation and ask for 24/7 servitude. Maybe YOU have decided she is perfect for you…but how do you know SHE would think you are perfect for her?

The FANTASY of the 24/7 submissive, live-in-slave is a great one to roleplay out with RT sessions or Online domination sessions — But if you are asking in terms of a lifestyle 24/7 live in submissive or adult baby you have to understand the gravity of what you are asking.

I put in all my profiles and postings that I am not looking for a 24/7 live in submissive in any form.

Truth is IF I ever DID take one on it would happen organically. It would come by slowly and naturally just as any normal vanilla relationship would.

There is a courting period…there is a bonding period…and who knows if it would ever move past that.

To me a 24/7 live in slave is the same as a live in boyfriend or spouse. It would happen organically and I can guarantee I will never consider an arrangement like that long-term from a single email where we have never even met.

Of course, the illusion is fantastic. It is a beautiful picture.

You wake up early every day to have my coffee ready for me, my shower warmed up, my clothes for the day laid out.

We go our separate ways during the day as you would be expected to contribute to household expenses and all of mine. I go tend to my career goals in the vanilla world and come home to dinner already prepared, a glass of red wine poured, and the chores already done.

Every day for you is greeted with a swat or two as a daily discipline to remind you of your place. Every day you are to sit, kneeling at my feet awaiting my next command. You would live to serve me.

If you earned a reward then you would receive said reward when I deemed acceptable. You wouldn’t sleep in my bed, you would sleep in a dog cage or on the mat outside my door like a dog. You would eat out of a bowl. You would be collared full time and there would be no end to your serving me.

During online domination sessions I love to go over how it would be, even I like the fantasy of it. During my RT sessions I’ve done longer ones and would do a 24 hour or more live in slave scenario/role play

Of course for my adoring adult diaper lovers and sissy babies longer babysitting is exciting as well and is obviously much different than what I would fantasize as far as a slave goes.

The sky is the limit with imagination — hold onto the illusion of a 24/7 slave…role play it out…but if you are seeking an actual position of a 24/7 take time to think of what it really means and figure out how you should REALLY approach that type of conversation.

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The Sexually Adventurous are free

The world is so uptight. Everyone fighting over everything, everyone constantly on edge and afraid. It used to be that when someone was on edge we’d make the comment that ‘he/she just needs to get laid’

In fact, if you look up the history of the vibrator it was created by doctors to cure ‘Female Hysteria’ – apparently, we get hysterical when we are sexually aroused and haven’t had our own climatic release in quite some time.

If you notice, those that are sexually adventurous and have lively sex lives, seem to be more carefree.  They walk around with smiles, fewer things really get to them. And they are less on edge.

That is kind of funny…the more I edge you in a tease and denial training session, the more you are on edge in the outside/vanilla world. Although, being on edge sexually isn’t quite the same as walking around on edge in the vanilla world, perhaps tease and denial IS your release and you are less on edge, by being edge. Like the circular logic there? LOL BDSM, Kink and Fetish is quite the rabbit hole.

Regardless, while the rest of the world may chastise those that have a peculiar sexual appetite, it is not us that they need to worry about.

You may not be open about your cravings, kinks and fetish lifestyles—and you may fall victim to the double life dilemma…that doesn’t change that you are sexually adventurous, ergo you are more free than most pent up, sexually frustrated prudes that walk around.

More KINK, less hate.

Find freedom, in sexually freeing yourself. Trying something new. Take a walk on the wild side. Do something you never thought about before. You may find that you enjoy it more than you think and suddenly your eyes are opened and you can breathe a little bit more.

I can be your fetish guidance counselor for you, taking you down the different paths related to femdom and bdsm. I can free you from your vanilla traps, while encasing you in my own. I am just one avenue to seek and learn, there are numerous others, there are very few limits when consenting adults are involved.

Try a new sexual adventure and free yourself.

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The Double Life Dilemma

Everyone has some sort of double life dilemma. In SOME aspect I think the majority live it to an extent.

Being a fetishist and knowing how the majority of the world reacts to those that are sexually progressive – it is easy to understand why so many hide it.

It is sad because EVERYONE is hiding SOMETHING.

They are hiding a fetish, a fantasy, a kink, a lifestyle. They are fantasizing about it and some are repressing it while others seek out pro-dommes and other avenues to fulfill their fantasies. EVERYONE has a fantasy, EVERYONE has a fetish. I just wish more people would acknowledge it. Maybe the world would be less uptight if we were able to openly indulge every so often. Then again…maybe the double life duty IS the fetish. LOL

It is a constant struggle between wanting to indulge and not wanting the ever judging eyes of a society that claims it is so open minded and yet we see in the world of fetish and kink and bdsm…they are not open minded at all.

I fully embrace who I am. Living a double life isn’t about concealing my own identity so much as it is protecting others.

I have a circle that knows the ins and outs of everything I do, but because I am so ingrained in my surrounding community and because of what I do in my vanilla field during the day – I keep my lips tightened with regards to my lifestyle and ‘other life’

The way consenting adults live out their lives is none of anyone’s business, nor is it there for anyone to judge. We aren’t hurting anyone (well pain sluts are consenting to it…very different 😉 ) – We aren’t forced into the lifestyle, we willingly accept it.

I know that the majority of my subs and slaves, sissies and pay pigs have to juggle a double life and they struggle with the question of “who is the real them”?

They forced to go into hiding. Hiding from their friends and family, hiding from their co-workers, hiding from their significant others.

I understand the detriment and crumbling of your foundation if someone where to find out.

I have people in my inner circle that I remain tight lipped around.

I’ve also helped some subs ‘come out’ so to speak in a stretch to minimize the struggle.

Honestly, I thrive on the double duty life. I like being able to go from one to the other. I like to have my cake and eat it too. I like to play with fire.

My subbie boys love to play with fire too. They love the idea of being exposed, and they get off on the idea of being exposed. They want to walk so close to the edge of total exposure and yet don’t want to be fully exposed.

They want to hide in plain sight.

I simply love it

Living a double life for most of you IS the real you. It’s not some façade. Who you are during the day and who you are during the night – are the same person.

Don’t struggle with what society deems ‘normal’…accept your kink and fetishes. So long as you aren’t hurting anyone else there is nothing wrong with it. If you are living out your desires with another consenting adult, there is nothing wrong with it.

You are you. You can embrace you the way a femdom would embrace your lifestyle.

It will be a constant struggle. It may continue to be a struggle for you despite your best efforts. But, life is too short to deny your inner submissive desires. Find a mistress you connect with and find someone that deals with the double life dilemma just like you.


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How to find a Mistress

How do I find a mistress?

I’ve heard this tired question (or variants of it) time and time again. You see it in all forums and avenues, I see this question in skype, on my yahoo instant messenger, and in my emails almost daily. This question is just as basic and tiresome as “how do I talk to a girl”, something that you may ask if you were 10 years old and finding out there were girls (or boys) that…peaked…your interest. Sorry, I’m not sorry…there is such a thing as a stupid question and this would fall under it.

I understand that you are a submissive and may want some hand holding, and you may need some guidance. Something YOU must understand…is that you will have to do some legwork in order to connect with a worthwhile femdom. You need to ask specific, pointed questions. If you want a unique experience, then don’t ask a general question.

I know I come off as arrogant with those statements…it’s because I am part of the elite, I am entitled and I own it…because I’ve put in the work and have been a mistress for a while now.

First and foremost – It’s imperative that you figure out the basic bit of knowledge…are you seeking a personal/lifestyle relationship or are you seeking pro-domination. You should NEVER contact a pro-domme if you are seeking something that doesn’t involve tributing for the session.  I am a pro-domme, findom and I charge for my services. Asking basic questions may still require a tribute because if you are going to take up MY time to help you instead of searching for the information yourself, I deserve to be compensated for that time. Any respectful human being would understand that, submissive or not.

So, you’ve decided you will never go into the pro-domination scene. You don’t want to pay for it, or you are of the cloth that believes that ‘real mistresses don’t charge’ (FYI…that’s a load of shit and no mistress will want ANYONE with attitudes like that. Even ones that don’t charge). That’s fine, so the follow up question would be what ARE you looking for? An actual lover-type relationship or just someone to play with?

My best suggestion at finding a mistress or scene play partner is to get involved in the local scene, go to the munches, go to the get-togethers reach out and make those connections. I know that can be daunting and scary, but it will be the best way to meet someone and possibly forming those connections to create a bond that will lead into play partners. (Sounds a lot like dating right? It absolutely is.)

If you are looking for a one time only thing, it is less likely to happen…and you’d be better off going to a pro-domme or trying your luck with a personal friend that just wants to take a walk on the wild side.

Then you must answer this question about yourself…what do YOU have to offer?

Along with the emails that will ask ‘how do I find a mistress’ I will receive a laundry list of THEIR wants and THEIR demands. Often making claims of “I’ll do whatever you want mistress”, “Please use me mistress”, or one of my favorites “can I be your oral slave mistress?” (As if any 28 year old girl of any status wants to let some random boy lick her and give them the ultimate privilege…*eyeroll*)

Please understand that an elite femdom, any intelligent mistress worth serving has a specific set of skills, she lives the lifestyle, she hones in on her craft; constantly growing it and perfecting it.

She also will not come for ‘free’ if you want free or relationship status it really just starts with being a decent human being, not doling out a to-do list of your sexual desires.

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Your Erotic Financial Advisor Awaits

When the penis does the picking. It get’s itself into trouble. You constantly find yourself in a state of panic, in a state of near or complete ruin. What you need ~ is an erotic financial advisor.

Truth is, your addiction to humiliation, cock control, and your addiction to emptying your wallet into the hands of a beautiful temptress – is NEVER going to go away. The desire WILL continue to grow, sometimes at a steady, slow pace and other times at a rapid rate.

This leaves you scrambling wondering what to do until the next payday. Do you pawn your wedding ring? Do you sell some of your most treasured possessions? How DO you manage the addiction?

The answer is YOU don’t…**I** do. I control your cock, I control your spending habits, I control your addiction. I decide if and when to take it further.  I decide if you should be ruined until the next pay day or if you are allowed a little room to squirm.

I’ve already said that when your penis does the picking, it gets into trouble. But, your penis is already picking me. And I can assure you, that is the single best decision it has made in a very, very long time.

You were put on this earth to spoil and admire and to give all you have. I was put on this earth to BE spoiled, to BE admired, and to take all you have.

At the end of the day ~ I truly have your best intentions at heart. A wallet raped pay pig is well taken care of, well coddled – so long as you are doing what is REALLY important.

I will be taking charge of your finances and I will be that erotic financial advisor – with a side of kink therapy.

One thing to take note of: I am your most important bill. You take care of me, your erotic financial advisor, before you take care of ANYTHING else. Because if you want my guidance, my attention..if you want ME – then you have to take care of me. I come above everything and everyone. And in return, you can find comfort and feel secure with belonging to an elite financial domme.

The pussy will do the picking from now on, it will make the decisions for you from now on. SO, its time to stop dicking around. Your addiction won’t wait. Allow someone that understands your needs to take control. You will get the feeling of relief, if at least for a little bit. At times you may feel weak, but you will feel empowered – like you are making a difference and taking control.

By giving me control of your life, you are taking control of your addiction. Realizing that you’ve never HAD the control and the only way to deal with it – is to have your elite findom – your money goddess – your erotic financial advisor – your EVERYTHING…take control for you.

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Cuckold Humiliation: Cuckolded by another Woman

Imagine being tied up in some way that makes it impossible for you to either escape or to touch your hard little cock.  Perhaps you could be sitting in a chair with your hands bound behind you and your legs tied to the chair legs.  Your poor, neglected little dick would be standing at attention and protruding from between your thighs.

You’ve always told me that you want to be my little cuckold

Well, tonight, you’re getting that fantasy of yours fulfilled.  Only your femdom Mistress is going to put her own personal spin on it.  Aren’t you excited?

One of my Mistress friends is going to come over, and the two of us are going to tease you like crazy.  You do like tease and denial, after all.  We’ll run our hands over your trembling body and tease your little cock.  You already know that you’re not going to get anything tonight.  We just like tormenting you.

Then, when we start kissing in front of you and taking each others’ clothes off, you realize that this isn’t just one of your cuckold fantasies.  The only flesh-and-blood cock here tonight is the useless little thing between your legs, and we certainly won’t need that for anything.

How humiliating for you…cuckolded by and with a woman.

Isn’t it funny that I’d rather have a beautiful woman’s hands, lips, and tongue than your silly little dick?

You did notice that I said the only *real* cock here tonight is yours, right?  I said nothing of toys.  I know for a fact that my friend has a huge dildo that she likes to use in her strap-on.  She’s going to lie down on top of me and put that big silicone cock inside me.  It must be terribly embarrassing to be shown how to fuck by a woman!

Your poor little dick is going to be about to explode, but you can’t touch it.  And we’re definitely not going to play with it for you.  We’ve got far better things to worry about than how horny your ass is.  Maybe if you’re really lucky, my naughty Mistress friend will let you lick my juices off of her strap-on dildo after she finishes fucking me.


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