ABC’s of Kink and Fetishes

The ABC’s of Kink and Fetish

Every person has some kink or fetish. Whether or not they admit it is something entirely different. You’ll never convince me otherwise. I’ve been in the world of Kink and Fetish long enough to know that even the most square person you know maybe wonder outside that square box from time to time.

In the age of the internet, it isn’t hard to connect to others with like minds. What MAY vary is how some come about their kinks and fetishes. It can stem from simple curiosities and range to deeply seeded and embedded memories from an earlier time in their lives.

A- Arousing Curiosity about the Abnormal

Do you find yourself aroused by things that may be deemed abnormal? I’d first want to discuss what is abnormal to you. I can’t even begin to define normal for myself, so I wouldn’t be able to tell YOU what is abnormal and what isn’t.

When I discuss some of my own kinks and fetishes I can tell some of them may be a little different than others. Their piqued curiosity is almost a red light that what I said isn’t something they’ve heard of in the past.

When In a session, I actually despise the questions of ‘what is the most bizarre thing you’ve done/’heard’ because it is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe dressing in drag is taboo for you, then again administering a champaign enema may be something you engage in regularly. There is no such thing as normal in the world of kink and fetish…so if there is no line to just normal, then there is no real line of abnormal. (Perhaps my client that enjoys the idea of being sucked up into a vacuum cartoon style is wavering on that line – but, to me, it’s still exciting/different/fun)

Does the abnormal make that cock twitch?

B- Are you Bold Enough to Explore?

Yes, you are. Because here you are. You’ve been looking for a while. Bold starts with typing into a search engine what you are trying to explore and you may not even know there is a name for your kink – which, trust me, there is always a name. LOL It is out there.

You may find yourself typing in “ why am I turned on by the thought of my wife having sex with someone else” – The term you are looking for is cuckold. Cuckold is the fantasy/fetish of having your wife/SO be with someone else. There is quite the history of Cuckolding but that would be for another post.

I will warn you that it is a bit of a rabbit hole. Once you start on the path you’ll find others with twisted ideas and other kinks/fetishes that you may not have encountered. But, as you grab that cock and start stroking – you’ll find it may turn you on to. At that point, you are becoming more of a fetishist. Someone that likes to explore different kinks, fantasies, and lifestyles. It is a fun and crazy world down here.

C- Are you Curious about others being into what you are, are you the only one?

You aren’t the only one. You could be into dressing in a pink sissy maid outfit with a rainbow horse tail butt plug and walking around in horse hoofed shoes with a bit in your mouth – there is someone out there that would love to dress just like that.

As much information as there is on the internet, you would think it would be easier finding those of like minds. But, it isn’t…not always anyway. The Internet is mostly a safe place to explore your kink and fetish in the privacy of your own home (Insert rant on internet safety and personal responsibility). Going out and meeting up with people face to face is a much bigger step than a large chunk of the community is willing to do. I speak this from experience with my clients that would never step outside their door and have a conversation with someone in the vanilla world about their kink world. For them, it’s too risky. It can make you feel isolated, but you still aren’t alone.

Why not explore your wild side a bit? What happens between consenting adults is none of anyone else’s concern.

So embrace you, the sexually adventurous are free. You can let out frustration and live a happier life indulging in your kinks and fetishes every once in a while.

What is your Kink? What is your Fetish? What is your Story?

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Don’t Get Scammed: Do your Homework

Found yourself the unlucky recipient of a session that you’ve paid for – that was never received? You aren’t alone.

I have heard ‘I was scammed before’ time and time again, some are legitimate concerns others are trying to garner sympathy to get something for free from me (spoiler: it doesn’t work).

It can happen to the best of us. When I first started camming (I had the experience as a pro and virtual domme…but hadn’t offered webcam services) – I too got caught up in a few ‘let me see you for 5 seconds’ that lead to nothing. I chalk it up to experience, have adjusted and moved on.

While YOU getting scammed from someone else isn’t my problem, nor will I make up for them – there are things you can do with minimal work, that would protect yourself.

It really is a shame that there are so many scammers out there subs and Dommes alike. But, there are always sure fire ways to protect yourself. It just means you have to do your homework a little bit. Google can absolutely be your friend in this.

In a sentence: DO YOUR HOMEWORK

Let it be noted, none of this is about getting freebies. An experienced Domme will never give you free time on cam with a ‘promise from you’ that you’ll pay afterward or sign up for a session afterward. It is common knowledge, that THAT is how subs scam and try and get away with things. Even 2 seconds is too much, I won’t do it and others won’t either.

Specifically for Online/Distance Domination Sessions

Obviously, it isn’t fool proof, because every day there are phenomenal Dommes that are coming into the scene and are either brand new all around, or just brand new to the world of distance domination. A new profile doesn’t necessarily mean ‘scammer’

Just because she doesn’t want to get on cam, or doesn’t show face photos, or any photos for that matter – also doesn’t mean you are getting scammed.

Being scammed means you paid for a service and didn’t receive it.

Paying for a skype ID and she does text only or you are the only one hopping on cam, that doesn’t mean she is a scammer. There are MANY pro-dommes and phone Dommes that don’t and won’t get on cam. Unless you specifically paid for a cam session, buying a skype ID with no cam to cam doesn’t mean it’s a scam. You have to read her rules and if you have a question – ask. Don’t play dumb later on and get upset because you didn’t read the rules or clarify something with her first.

If you see a brand new profile and it simply has a few lines of text, and an itty bitty – barely legible photo, there may be some red flags there. Can you look up more info on her? Why not try calling and doing an intro call with her first?

I can’t say DON’T pay for the session up front, and I won’t. Because I charge up front. No money = no session. That is how I protect MYSELF from scammers. The freebie scraps that I throw out there can be found by you, and since they are out there – I won’t give them.  I am a cam/phone/text and pro-domme – I even have clips, so the way I see it – if you need proof, then you can spend 1-5 for the teaser clips I put out there. If you are stressing about spending 1-5 then you probably shouldn’t be seeking a pro-mistress. It is a small amount – if you can’t be bothered to part with it because of your fear of being ‘scammed’ then you simply aren’t the type of submissive I’d be looking for anyway. 😉

There are services out there that charge you per-minute while connected through their system. That is a way to minimize if there is a scammer. If the cam isn’t on within a couple minutes, disconnect. A few dollars and minutes is enough to figure it out.

You can check around, you can use google, you can call and do an interview session to get a feel for someone. Doing your homework keeps you from getting scammed.

If you paid for services not received – THAT is the scam. Period.

You not getting your way because you didn’t look up the fine print – NOT a scam…that is your bad judgment.

If you DON’T want to be scammed – or are apprehensive start with that initial interview call. Don’t think that because a mistress won’t give you ANY free attention means she is a scam. I charge for my time, which means I’m not open to giving it away for free. My contracts have set up fees, I have multiple services I offer for submissives, sissies and fetishists alike – and I am a premium domme – I have options. Some of the lesser amount if you are really gung-ho about ‘getting a feel for me’ – many dommes do. You just have to look it up.

Do Your Homework

That is my advice to keep yourself from getting scammed. One size doesn’t fit all. One domme not giving into your demands – well you have to question YOUR submissiveness if YOU are making ANY kind of demand. Doesn’t make it a scam.

If you have paid for services you have not received – that is a scam, and I do hope in the future you do your homework so that it doesn’t happen again.

If a Domme has provided services and was never paid – that is a scam, and I hope they chose to charge up front the next time — but many have experienced this at least once in their rise to the top. So as a submissive, understand when she does NOTHING without payment first. The homework is up to the submissive.

Experienced submissives know this and it’s ok to be inexperienced, we all had to start at the beginning somewhere. Just be smarter about it.

We like submissive men, not dumb ones and certainly not cheap ones.  

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Head Mistress and Variety

Every mistress out there appreciates a truly devoted pet. One that bends to her every will, one that complies with her every demand, one that knows her expectations and strives to exceed them. The pet doesn’t waste time, isn’t an energy suck – is just overall a well-trained sub.

BUT, THOSE subs are few and far between. I could throw a dart and hit someone that CLAIMS they are as devoted as they SAY but I am not one for empty promises. I am a mistress of action and tangible proof of your devotion. Don’t say it…DO it. That is, perhaps, another post later on.

Today I’m going over certain expectations I have for those that serve me.

While I love ones that are head-over-heals monogamous pets…I am not a monogamous mistress. You will not be my only pet. You could very well become a top pet but that position is something that is something that you have to constantly work at. I have found that the majority of submissive pets that are well-trained and are of the level of sub I want – they kind of need variety.

I am ok with your desire to have a variety of Mistresses.

I know there are Mistresses that will say that this is a hard-limit and you have no business serving others. That is fine. Live and let live.

I will say that if you are OWNED that I will not accept you as a pet. If you are OWNED you have no business seeking out another mistress to play with, UNLESS you have actual permission from your mistress. I don’t believe in stepping on the toes or disrespecting another mistress.

I don’t play the games of ‘well so and so, does this’ or ‘this mistress said that’ –if you are a pot stirrer that gets off on the drama some women tend to get off on I can point you in the proper direction but it won’t be towards me.

I expect honesty from my pets and submissives. Be honest about the fact that you like to shake things up.

With that said…I DO expect to be your HEADMISTRESS. If you want to be devoted to me, if you want to be in my good graces and not seen as a one and done type submissive, if you want to build on a D/s relationship – I expect to be your Head Mistress.

What is a Headmistress?

It shouldn’t be that hard to decipher. She is the one you ultimately serve. Sure you can go out for your variety when there are times that schedules don’t line up, or you just want to have a little swirl for the evening…but the rules set for you by your headmistress you ultimately follow.

For instance…with your headmistress if you are on a strict chastity. Don’t go to another mistress to have it removed, the only one that can remove it is your headmistress. The other mistress could encourage chastity or perhaps tease and torment you and humiliate you while you are in it.

Your Head Mistress has the final say over everything.

Respect is everything when it comes to properly serving a Domme. I respect your need for variety, just as I expect YOU to respect me as your headmistress.

Some may agree, some may disagree – I don’t care. You follow the rules of the one you deem as your headmistress. I don’t fight with other dommes and never will. There will never be a sub worth the energy of a fight. LOL However, I love the ability to partner up with them and turn you into a tennis ball that we hit back and forth and fuck your world up deeper.

Double-domme sessions are something I adore with a select group, and am always open to the idea of adding in more.

You take care of your Head Mistress and she is sure to make sure you are well taken care of too. Just food for thought.

Do you have a head mistress? Are you a single mistress sub or owned? What rules do you have to abide by?

Until next time my pets.

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The Illusion of the 24/7 Slave

You have scoured the internet for the perfect Mistress or Mommy Mistress. One that fits everything you could ever picture. The diamond in the rough, the union if you will. You found her. You find out how to contact her. You send an email — Your first ever conversation with her.

“Are you looking for a 24/7 live in slave”

How do you really expect someone to respond to that? If it were the vanilla dating girl and you found pictures and a profile of the girl of your dreams and sent a message

“let’s get married tomorrow and I want to move in”

It is not going to be met with a warm response IF you get a response at all. Instead, the email is marked spam, you may be blocked and you are dubbed ‘creepy as fuck’

You simply can’t contact someone on the first conversation and ask for 24/7 servitude. Maybe YOU have decided she is perfect for you…but how do you know SHE would think you are perfect for her?

The FANTASY of the 24/7 submissive, live-in-slave is a great one to roleplay out with RT sessions or Online domination sessions — But if you are asking in terms of a lifestyle 24/7 live in submissive or adult baby you have to understand the gravity of what you are asking.

I put in all my profiles and postings that I am not looking for a 24/7 live in submissive in any form.

Truth is IF I ever DID take one on it would happen organically. It would come by slowly and naturally just as any normal vanilla relationship would.

There is a courting period…there is a bonding period…and who knows if it would ever move past that.

To me a 24/7 live in slave is the same as a live in boyfriend or spouse. It would happen organically and I can guarantee I will never consider an arrangement like that long-term from a single email where we have never even met.

Of course, the illusion is fantastic. It is a beautiful picture.

You wake up early every day to have my coffee ready for me, my shower warmed up, my clothes for the day laid out.

We go our separate ways during the day as you would be expected to contribute to household expenses and all of mine. I go tend to my career goals in the vanilla world and come home to dinner already prepared, a glass of red wine poured, and the chores already done.

Every day for you is greeted with a swat or two as a daily discipline to remind you of your place. Every day you are to sit, kneeling at my feet awaiting my next command. You would live to serve me.

If you earned a reward then you would receive said reward when I deemed acceptable. You wouldn’t sleep in my bed, you would sleep in a dog cage or on the mat outside my door like a dog. You would eat out of a bowl. You would be collared full time and there would be no end to your serving me.

During online domination sessions I love to go over how it would be, even I like the fantasy of it. During my RT sessions I’ve done longer ones and would do a 24 hour or more live in slave scenario/role play

Of course for my adoring adult diaper lovers and sissy babies longer babysitting is exciting as well and is obviously much different than what I would fantasize as far as a slave goes.

The sky is the limit with imagination — hold onto the illusion of a 24/7 slave…role play it out…but if you are seeking an actual position of a 24/7 take time to think of what it really means and figure out how you should REALLY approach that type of conversation.

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The Sexually Adventurous are free

The world is so uptight. Everyone fighting over everything, everyone constantly on edge and afraid. It used to be that when someone was on edge we’d make the comment that ‘he/she just needs to get laid’

In fact, if you look up the history of the vibrator it was created by doctors to cure ‘Female Hysteria’ – apparently, we get hysterical when we are sexually aroused and haven’t had our own climatic release in quite some time.

If you notice, those that are sexually adventurous and have lively sex lives, seem to be more carefree.  They walk around with smiles, fewer things really get to them. And they are less on edge.

That is kind of funny…the more I edge you in a tease and denial training session, the more you are on edge in the outside/vanilla world. Although, being on edge sexually isn’t quite the same as walking around on edge in the vanilla world, perhaps tease and denial IS your release and you are less on edge, by being edge. Like the circular logic there? LOL BDSM, Kink and Fetish is quite the rabbit hole.

Regardless, while the rest of the world may chastise those that have a peculiar sexual appetite, it is not us that they need to worry about.

You may not be open about your cravings, kinks and fetish lifestyles—and you may fall victim to the double life dilemma…that doesn’t change that you are sexually adventurous, ergo you are more free than most pent up, sexually frustrated prudes that walk around.

More KINK, less hate.

Find freedom, in sexually freeing yourself. Trying something new. Take a walk on the wild side. Do something you never thought about before. You may find that you enjoy it more than you think and suddenly your eyes are opened and you can breathe a little bit more.

I can be your fetish guidance counselor for you, taking you down the different paths related to femdom and bdsm. I can free you from your vanilla traps, while encasing you in my own. I am just one avenue to seek and learn, there are numerous others, there are very few limits when consenting adults are involved.

Try a new sexual adventure and free yourself.

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What is Subspace?

Ever heard about this so called subspace?

It exists my dears. Several have reached it, and if you are one of my submissive pets…it is a place I intend to take you.

I took the liberty of copying the definition from Wikipedia for you (now, normally I would not use Wikipedia as a worthy source…but for most sexual fetishies and niches, it seems to be ok 😉 )

Subspace (also sub space, flying, or floating), in the context of a BDSM scene, is a psychological state that can sometimes be entered by the person bottoming in the scene.

Subspace is a metaphor for the state the bottom’s mind and body is in during a deeply involved play scene. Many types of BDSM play invoke strong physical responses. The psychological aspect of BDSM also causes many bottoms to mentally separate themselves from their environment as they process the experience. Deep subspace is often characterized as a state of deep recession and incoherence. Deep subspace may also cause a danger in newer bottoms who are unfamiliar with the experience, and require the dominant to keep a careful watch to ensure the bottom isn’t placing himself or herself in danger. Many bottoms require aftercare while returning from subspace.

What does subspace mean to you?

Subspace can be seen as an erotic trance of sorts. You are in a state of pure submissive bliss. You may think you are at you’re weakest state, you’re most vulnerable, but content.

Its one of those feelings that are easier to describe, by placing you there. But it is a state of mind that isn’t easily obtained by just anyone.

Take for example a little newbie pet of mine recently—he has been so eager to leave a lasting impression on his mistress, so willing to make me happy.

Within a few hours of our first session, we was sinking into a subspace. Substantially sooner than most, but we did speak for almost 7 straight hours and just had that spark, that connection.

In his particular subspace, hearing my voice is more erotic and enticing than the fantasy of having sex with me.

His particular situation…he knows he would not even get a pity fuck.

But, he is melting to my voice, he is melting to my words, and adhering to my instructions.

I did not allow him release.

Instead, passed him to another mistress to obtain some more tease and denial training, and we have been bouncing him back and forth.

His level of subspace is so intense, so deep…that I’d almost say it’s the deepest I’ve seen of anyone. His happiness is based on our happiness…on MY happiness.

He could lay there in total silence, counting his breaths, feeling everything around him…not wanting to come back to reality.

But, that is just one example…the experience is different for everyone. If you know YOU , and know your desires, I can get you there quicker…but if you are a newbie sub, and just learning…it could take a tad longer to bring you to that amazing spot known as sub space.

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Why Choose Phone Domination?

Why Phone Domination?

Let’s face it, it can be a truly daunting task picking up the phone and contact a mistress of my skill and ability. I understand…most femdom phone mistresses understand.

But it really is NOT as scary as it seems. Sure I’m dominate, intimidating, beautiful and all of the above…but do you think you’d be the first time phone sex caller I’ve ever had?

I find it WONDERFUL when I get to pop a cherry…and am always willing to guide you through the process of femdom phone domination.

What makes it different with Mistress Lillith

I’ve been at this for over 7 years, and have both real time and phone experience. I am a lifestyle mistress, a pro dominatrix and phone mistress. I am the Mistress of All Trades, and a true fetishist. I am sure you’ve read hundreds of blogs, several laying claim to the same thing—but you can read my feed back for confirmation, or you can always message me with questions that you may have.

My domination phone sessions range from sensual to sadistic and everything in between. After asking just a few questions about what kind of mistress you are looking for, I have all the information I need to give you an amazing domination experience. If it is your first, or your hundredth it will be one you remember. My name will be one you remember.

It’s Safe

Phone sex domination is SAFE sex domination

I always preach safe sex, and while glory holes and cock sucking craigslist ads may come up in fantasy, I am a HUGE proponent of safe sex. What a better way to explore your fantasies than with a Phone Goddess. You have the privacy and discretion of your mistress not having any of your information (except for what YOU supply to her), there is no risk of any kind of venereal disease or STD. You can be who you want to be, and how you want to be…you can loosen your tie and tell your sexual counselor everything without worrying about pure judgment.

What are you waiting for?

If you are on the edge of calling your mistress, take that plunge to submission, take that plunge into a guided masturbation session. Leave your inhibitions behind and come to Mistress Lillith for all your fetish loving needs.

What do you look for in a phone Mistress? What is your biggest fear/concern? Or what do you LOVE most about it?

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