As with every aspect of life to get the most out of your femdom relationship, communication is KEY.
Being able to articulate your desires, your limits, and address any concerns you may have are paramount to solidifying and moving forth and growing within that setting: regardless if it is a personal femdom relationship or a professional one.
Even if you are just starting out as a submissive, you still have an IDEA of what rode you want to take. If you are a clean slate and are OK with your Domme guiding you through the many layers of the Femdom world that’s ok…just be prepared for what all that may or may not entail.
An experienced Domme will know how to deal with the ‘green’ submissives. But, she will also see through you almost immediately if you are claiming green but are just someone trying to be sneaky for whatever reason you may have. With that said, as new as you may be…you STILL need to have at least an inkling of which direction you want to go, which area you would like to even test drive.
You must always be careful with the statement “Do whatever you want to me” – which is loathed by many Dominants, male and female alike. You make that statement and I’ll immediately go straight to the wallet rapping and pegging. (Hey if that’s something you are into that’s even better 😉 but often times the submissive is looking for something different)
Speaking from experience, my ideal submissive is one that I would classify as a cerebral submissive. One that analyzes, one that experiments, one that isn’t afraid to express his own desires. Of course his desires and my desires SHOULD pair up if we are going to ‘connect’ on a deeper level for the more cerebral part. You could classify it as a mind fuck, one that goes beyond the session. (Im working on a post for what I view as a cerebral submissive that I’ll post at some point)
If you don’t know your limits, it’s important to learn them, so that you can better communicate them. I adore my pain slut submissives, but they absolutely need to know their limits so we can play within safer perimeters — or so I know how far is to far and ease them to that limit so they can one day surpass it. (I certainly have goals for them 😉 )
I have had experiences where we didn’t connect due to lack of communication, both RT pro-sessions and distance. He may not have known HOW to communicate the desires or didn’t understand, and it wasn’t really a blemish on my part as the dominate. I’ve been in the game a long time, I know I’m amazing 😉 For me there has to be more than just ‘do your thing’ if you want MORE than how I respond to ‘do your thing’
Communicating your goals and thoughts is NOT topping from the bottom when coming from a place of honesty and respect. Topping from the bottom is not ok whether you are an online submissive or RT submissive, with your femdom relationship.
In my eyes, those are two completely different beasts.
Everyone has goals. I have my ideas on where I want to take a submissive, and I’m sure the submissive has his own goals. In order for everyone to get the full enjoyment and all around experience…Communication is key within the femdom relationship.