Don’t Get Scammed: Do your Homework

Found yourself the unlucky recipient of a session that you’ve paid for – that was never received? You aren’t alone.

I have heard ‘I was scammed before’ time and time again, some are legitimate concerns others are trying to garner sympathy to get something for free from me (spoiler: it doesn’t work).

It can happen to the best of us. When I first started camming (I had the experience as a pro and virtual domme…but hadn’t offered webcam services) – I too got caught up in a few ‘let me see you for 5 seconds’ that lead to nothing. I chalk it up to experience, have adjusted and moved on.

While YOU getting scammed from someone else isn’t my problem, nor will I make up for them – there are things you can do with minimal work, that would protect yourself.

It really is a shame that there are so many scammers out there subs and Dommes alike. But, there are always sure fire ways to protect yourself. It just means you have to do your homework a little bit. Google can absolutely be your friend in this.

In a sentence: DO YOUR HOMEWORK

Let it be noted, none of this is about getting freebies. An experienced Domme will never give you free time on cam with a ‘promise from you’ that you’ll pay afterward or sign up for a session afterward. It is common knowledge, that THAT is how subs scam and try and get away with things. Even 2 seconds is too much, I won’t do it and others won’t either.

Specifically for Online/Distance Domination Sessions

Obviously, it isn’t fool proof, because every day there are phenomenal Dommes that are coming into the scene and are either brand new all around, or just brand new to the world of distance domination. A new profile doesn’t necessarily mean ‘scammer’

Just because she doesn’t want to get on cam, or doesn’t show face photos, or any photos for that matter – also doesn’t mean you are getting scammed.

Being scammed means you paid for a service and didn’t receive it.

Paying for a skype ID and she does text only or you are the only one hopping on cam, that doesn’t mean she is a scammer. There are MANY pro-dommes and phone Dommes that don’t and won’t get on cam. Unless you specifically paid for a cam session, buying a skype ID with no cam to cam doesn’t mean it’s a scam. You have to read her rules and if you have a question – ask. Don’t play dumb later on and get upset because you didn’t read the rules or clarify something with her first.

If you see a brand new profile and it simply has a few lines of text, and an itty bitty – barely legible photo, there may be some red flags there. Can you look up more info on her? Why not try calling and doing an intro call with her first?

I can’t say DON’T pay for the session up front, and I won’t. Because I charge up front. No money = no session. That is how I protect MYSELF from scammers. The freebie scraps that I throw out there can be found by you, and since they are out there – I won’t give them.  I am a cam/phone/text and pro-domme – I even have clips, so the way I see it – if you need proof, then you can spend 1-5 for the teaser clips I put out there. If you are stressing about spending 1-5 then you probably shouldn’t be seeking a pro-mistress. It is a small amount – if you can’t be bothered to part with it because of your fear of being ‘scammed’ then you simply aren’t the type of submissive I’d be looking for anyway. 😉

There are services out there that charge you per-minute while connected through their system. That is a way to minimize if there is a scammer. If the cam isn’t on within a couple minutes, disconnect. A few dollars and minutes is enough to figure it out.

You can check around, you can use google, you can call and do an interview session to get a feel for someone. Doing your homework keeps you from getting scammed.

If you paid for services not received – THAT is the scam. Period.

You not getting your way because you didn’t look up the fine print – NOT a scam…that is your bad judgment.

If you DON’T want to be scammed – or are apprehensive start with that initial interview call. Don’t think that because a mistress won’t give you ANY free attention means she is a scam. I charge for my time, which means I’m not open to giving it away for free. My contracts have set up fees, I have multiple services I offer for submissives, sissies and fetishists alike – and I am a premium domme – I have options. Some of the lesser amount if you are really gung-ho about ‘getting a feel for me’ – many dommes do. You just have to look it up.

Do Your Homework

That is my advice to keep yourself from getting scammed. One size doesn’t fit all. One domme not giving into your demands – well you have to question YOUR submissiveness if YOU are making ANY kind of demand. Doesn’t make it a scam.

If you have paid for services you have not received – that is a scam, and I do hope in the future you do your homework so that it doesn’t happen again.

If a Domme has provided services and was never paid – that is a scam, and I hope they chose to charge up front the next time — but many have experienced this at least once in their rise to the top. So as a submissive, understand when she does NOTHING without payment first. The homework is up to the submissive.

Experienced submissives know this and it’s ok to be inexperienced, we all had to start at the beginning somewhere. Just be smarter about it.

We like submissive men, not dumb ones and certainly not cheap ones.  

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How to find a Mistress

How do I find a mistress?

I’ve heard this tired question (or variants of it) time and time again. You see it in all forums and avenues, I see this question in skype, on my yahoo instant messenger, and in my emails almost daily. This question is just as basic and tiresome as “how do I talk to a girl”, something that you may ask if you were 10 years old and finding out there were girls (or boys) that…peaked…your interest. Sorry, I’m not sorry…there is such a thing as a stupid question and this would fall under it.

I understand that you are a submissive and may want some hand holding, and you may need some guidance. Something YOU must understand…is that you will have to do some legwork in order to connect with a worthwhile femdom. You need to ask specific, pointed questions. If you want a unique experience, then don’t ask a general question.

I know I come off as arrogant with those statements…it’s because I am part of the elite, I am entitled and I own it…because I’ve put in the work and have been a mistress for a while now.

First and foremost – It’s imperative that you figure out the basic bit of knowledge…are you seeking a personal/lifestyle relationship or are you seeking pro-domination. You should NEVER contact a pro-domme if you are seeking something that doesn’t involve tributing for the session.  I am a pro-domme, findom and I charge for my services. Asking basic questions may still require a tribute because if you are going to take up MY time to help you instead of searching for the information yourself, I deserve to be compensated for that time. Any respectful human being would understand that, submissive or not.

So, you’ve decided you will never go into the pro-domination scene. You don’t want to pay for it, or you are of the cloth that believes that ‘real mistresses don’t charge’ (FYI…that’s a load of shit and no mistress will want ANYONE with attitudes like that. Even ones that don’t charge). That’s fine, so the follow up question would be what ARE you looking for? An actual lover-type relationship or just someone to play with?

My best suggestion at finding a mistress or scene play partner is to get involved in the local scene, go to the munches, go to the get-togethers reach out and make those connections. I know that can be daunting and scary, but it will be the best way to meet someone and possibly forming those connections to create a bond that will lead into play partners. (Sounds a lot like dating right? It absolutely is.)

If you are looking for a one time only thing, it is less likely to happen…and you’d be better off going to a pro-domme or trying your luck with a personal friend that just wants to take a walk on the wild side.

Then you must answer this question about yourself…what do YOU have to offer?

Along with the emails that will ask ‘how do I find a mistress’ I will receive a laundry list of THEIR wants and THEIR demands. Often making claims of “I’ll do whatever you want mistress”, “Please use me mistress”, or one of my favorites “can I be your oral slave mistress?” (As if any 28 year old girl of any status wants to let some random boy lick her and give them the ultimate privilege…*eyeroll*)

Please understand that an elite femdom, any intelligent mistress worth serving has a specific set of skills, she lives the lifestyle, she hones in on her craft; constantly growing it and perfecting it.

She also will not come for ‘free’ if you want free or relationship status it really just starts with being a decent human being, not doling out a to-do list of your sexual desires.

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